I remember a past event when my mother bought a pair of shoes for me with all her heart, and she was very excited about showing them to me. I remember the love and happiness in her eyes while presenting them to me. On the other side, I was unhappy, even before unpacking it by just seeing the tag of some local brand on the packaging, and the first thing I asked her was, “ No Nike?”. I felt the disappointment in her eyes and her unconditional love for me. She was doing things for me out of her love and affection for me. I was being completely ungrateful and selfish, only thinking about myself.
This event was off my memory tape for quite a while, but during my vipassana meditation sessions, it came back. And the first thing I did, as soon as the realisation occurred to my conscience, was head to my mother and share my present feelings with her, telling her that she had gifted me with a wonderful childhood. The moment’s intensity got both of us shedding tears, indeed.
With the pace of time, steadily and slowly, I have worked on myself to become a grateful being from a completely ungrateful one. I say thank you for the tiny acts of kindness that I receive or see being done to others; I share things without any second thought of myself, knowing that nobody has possession of anything forever in his or her life, and many more.
But it’s very recently that, when I read the impact that thankfulness or gratitude can have on one’s body and mind, I started delving into it at a deeper level than what could have been normal. In an article by the Daily Health Post, neuroscience revealed how regular practice of gratitude can rewire your brain to be happier and more loving. When we practice being actively thankful, our hypothalamus fires up. According to a study, those who practice gratitude are more optimistic and feel better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercise more and have fewer visits to physicians than those who focus on sources of aggravation. Don’t worry, I googled it (and you can read it here).
The more thankful I become, the more my bounty increased. That’s because — for sure — what you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in life, you create more of it.
-Oprah Winfrey
So, I started practicing gratitude, not merely by saying thank you but by absorbing the feeling right into the cells of my body.
Gratitude helps you feel good from deep inside, which reflects in your outer world.
I have tried experimenting with a whole lot of different ways with which I can express gratitude to people I love and, in general, to the world. Here are some:
Ways that I use to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis:
Write a thank-you note
The best way to nurture a relationship with another person is by expressing appreciation for that person’s impact on your life. This way, one can feel happier by making others happy.
Either post it as a letter, email it, or read it in person if possible. Write as many letters as you want, or at least one letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself. I also practice gratitude by writing some random thank-you cards to professional women I look up to.
Keep a gratitude journal
Make it a habit to write down the gifts you’ve received each day. You will love this amazing technique to lift your days by simply remembering your blessings.
Every day for 30 days, I made it a goal to write down something completely random that I was happy to have in my life. Some items on my list are the freedom I have to live my life the way I want to live, how thankful I’m for all the wonderful experiences that I have, and the fleeting feeling of gratitude I get when someone I care about texts me.
Thank someone mentally
No time to write? One of the best ways to practice gratitude is by just thinking about someone who has done something nice for you and mentally thanking the individual. This is something you can practice anywhere, at any time of the day.
“Gratitude has been such a powerful exercise for me. Every morning I get up and say “Thank you.” Every morning, when my feet hit the floor, “Thank you.” And then I start running through what I’m grateful for, as I’m brushing my teeth and doing the things I do in the morning. And I’m not just thinking about them and doing some rote routine. I’m putting it out there and I’m feeling the feelings of gratitude.”
-James Ray
Count your blessings
Once in a while, reflect on the things you are grateful for by writing down your blessings and the things that went right throughout the day.
This one is my favourite type of practicing gratitude. I write three things a day for which I am grateful. Also, be as specific as possible by writing down the sensations that you felt when something good happened to you.
Pray
If you are religious, you can cultivate gratitude using prayers. Use gratitude mantras and feel it settle deep inside your heart.
Meditate
Mindfulness or meditation is all about attaining focus on the present moment without any judgement. Although people often focus on a word (such as “peace” or “love”), it is also possible to focus on what you’re grateful for (the sunset or sunrise, a pleasant song, etc.), or you can simply focus on your breath and be grateful to be alive.
I have learned to tame my wandering mind through meditation and to be grateful for the present moment, which is also the greatest gift you can give yourself. I’ve found what millions have discovered through
mindfulness practice: happiness, improved wellbeing, and better sleep.
If there is one thing for you to take away from here, it is to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life.
Thank you for your food well.
Every meal is a beautiful time to practice gratitude, and you can even continue to feel gratitude while having your food. Whether you say a prayer or give thanks in your own way, take a few minutes to tune into the food on your plate. Be really aware of the colours, texture, and smell of the food, and reflect on all the hands who contributed to bringing it to your plate (from the farmers to the dealers to the person who cooked, give thanks).
Light a candle daily.
Obviously, there is a need in many hearts to express, without words, the desire to be grateful. Lighting a candle can be a beautiful way to express yourself without words. The website www.gratefulness.org offers the simple ritual of lighting a candle in cyberspace.
The more I practice gratitude, the more grateful I actually become.
Over a period of time, I have realised the most amazing thing about gratitude is that you can actually cultivate more of it by simply acting more grateful.
So, when you feel overwhelmed with life, try placing your hands over your heart, closing your eyes, and practicing breathing into your blessings until you’re so full of gratitude that there’s no room for anything else.