Dear Abha,
I’m your 26-year-old self writing from July 2022. How have you been?
This is the first letter in what I hope becomes a lifelong habit of honest conversations with myself.
Work & Purpose
Last year, I began my journey as a Mainframe Application Developer at IBM. Initially, I wasn’t enthusiastic about the technology, but once I immersed myself in learning, it became unexpectedly enjoyable.
exactly after 1.5 year in the job I started feeling drained and unmotivated. I didn’t want to wake up and work. That spark was gone. So, I did what I always do when overwhelmed—I escaped to the mountains.
Through all this, I’ve noticed something: I crave appreciation. It motivates me. That need likely comes from childhood—working hard for love, seeking validation. I’m still learning to validate myself now.
“Don’t let success go to your head or failure to your heart.”
I experienced burnout at work. I began to underperform. I felt like an imposter. But I faced it. I paused, reflected, and reached out for help. Slowly, I’m returning to my rhythm.
I was torn between continuing remote work while traveling or going back to the office for experience and culture.
I’ve realised that I thrive under structured pressure. That’s also why I’m writing this—to stay accountable.
I’ve also realized I often start things with energy and leave them halfway when It feels like I’m moving but not really progressing. Then I came across this:
“Change happens at 32°—after all the effort made from 25° to 31°.”
“The bamboo builds roots for years before exploding into growth.”
“A stone breaks on the 101st blow, not because of that blow, but because of all that came before.”
This invisible progress is real. and when you give something long enough attention, your feelings can change.
Life
This year, I trekked to Hemkund Sahib—a 15,201 ft climb. It was hard, but I didn’t complain. I woke up without an alarm. I climbed with joy. And I returned with something much deeper.
Since then, I’ve decided to climb more mountains—literally. In that solitude, I rediscovered my strength. Nature reminded me to zoom out, to remember the bigger picture.
“The greatest irony of life: less is more. More is less.”
I’m simplifying my life: Health has become a priority. Sleep, movement, good food, and positive thoughts are non-negotiables. I was falling into a loop—working late, sleeping at 4 AM, waking at noon—but I’m changing that.
Also, I’ve been embracing my feminine side—flowy dresses, hairdos, even the thought of a nose ring. I’m allowing myself to be soft again.
3. Relationships & Reflection
Three months ago, I moved out of my hometown to Vrindavan after a long stay at home due to COVID. It was painful, but necessary. My brother lives nearby, and meeting him brings comfort. but I love where I live.
Work keeps me busy, but I miss those long chats with family. I call home less now, but I’m trying. My day feels incomplete without seeing my niece and nephew’s faces on a videocall, even if they’re asleep by the time I’m free.
“The journey and the company matter more than the destination.”
“You value things more when you’ve worked hard for them.”
I now choose one deep experience over a hundred shallow ones. I’ve become quieter. I need solitude to recharge. I trust rarely, but completely. I no longer chase money—it’s never my first thought. I pick the uncertain, difficult path over the obvious one. And I don’t regret it.
4. Faith & Mental Clarity
Focus has been a struggle. I start, lose interest, start something else. It’s exhausting. I’m working on only beginning what I intend to finish. I even brainstormed a YouTube channel idea. I want to begin—slowly but steadily.
(Finally you have posted first video in 2024 –
Spiritually, I chant the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra 108 times a day. I’m still exploring rituals and meanings, but I’ve started somewhere.
During the Hemkund Sahib trek, I met a kind family who told me stories of Guru Nanak. I had goosebumps listening to their stories of faith and sacrifice. Faith truly does move mountains.
I witnessed the Ganga Aarti at Triveni Ghat. The ritual, the fire, the rhythm—it pierced my heart. A part of me stayed there.
I’m reading:
- Women Who Run With the Wolves – for reconnecting with the divine feminine.
- Start With Why by Simon Sinek – to understand purpose better.
And podcasts like:
- Diary of a CEO – especially Simon’s episode, which left a deep mark.
From Ankur Warikoo’s course, I learned:
Time is Energy“If you can manage time, you can manage everything.”
- Time is Money
- Time is Allocation
- Time is Energy
And from now on:
One Bhagavad Gita shloka every month. Meditate. Reflect. Share.
With love,
Abha
July 2022